what my patients taught me this week.

i love being a nurse for a lot of reasons, but just the stories they tell me and the things i see amaze me.  someday i am going to forget, so i decided i am going to document some of what i hear and see.  it all varies from serious, ornery, sick, and funny.  no day is ever the same, obviously.

my patients make me feel good when they tell me that i am an angel or i am the reason they made it through the day, but i also have the most thankless job when i am screamed at, used like a drug dealer, maid, and whatever else you might think of.  no matter what, it is a pretty cool job and i really like most of the people i take care of.  so, here are just a couple things i noticed the last couple of days.  who knows what i may see and hear tomorrow!

1)  turpentine and castor oil will take away aches and pains if you mix 3:1 parts and rub it on the part that is bothering you.  it doesn't smell good at all, but it will make you feel better.

2)  god is what makes a marriage stay strong and keeps it together.  without him, it will not last.

3)  heroin makes you feel like you are snuggling on the couch with your boyfriend for 7 hours and makes you feel warm, fuzzy, and totally relaxed.

4)  do what makes you happy like jumping out of airplanes, shooting guns, and drinking beer, when you're eighty-five!

5)  a person can live for a week sitting in exactly the same spot, oh say a recliner, if one has a stocked cooler next to them- that's all that person needs.  may not be pleasant after that one week (if you know what i mean) but it can be done, and one will survive. 

6)  a man's scrotum can really get to be the size of a small cantaloupe!