what my patients taught me this week.

i love being a nurse for a lot of reasons, but just the stories they tell me and the things i see amaze me.  someday i am going to forget, so i decided i am going to document some of what i hear and see.  it all varies from serious, ornery, sick, and funny.  no day is ever the same, obviously.

my patients make me feel good when they tell me that i am an angel or i am the reason they made it through the day, but i also have the most thankless job when i am screamed at, used like a drug dealer, maid, and whatever else you might think of.  no matter what, it is a pretty cool job and i really like most of the people i take care of.  so, here are just a couple things i noticed the last couple of days.  who knows what i may see and hear tomorrow!

1)  turpentine and castor oil will take away aches and pains if you mix 3:1 parts and rub it on the part that is bothering you.  it doesn't smell good at all, but it will make you feel better.

2)  god is what makes a marriage stay strong and keeps it together.  without him, it will not last.

3)  heroin makes you feel like you are snuggling on the couch with your boyfriend for 7 hours and makes you feel warm, fuzzy, and totally relaxed.

4)  do what makes you happy like jumping out of airplanes, shooting guns, and drinking beer, when you're eighty-five!

5)  a person can live for a week sitting in exactly the same spot, oh say a recliner, if one has a stocked cooler next to them- that's all that person needs.  may not be pleasant after that one week (if you know what i mean) but it can be done, and one will survive. 

6)  a man's scrotum can really get to be the size of a small cantaloupe! 

five great things from this passing year. . .

so today is the last day of the year.  three hundred and sixty-five days since we last had a new year.  that seems like a long time ago, but then again it seems as though it has flown by, right?! 

time is literally going by so fast that it makes me panic.  this year was a decent year for me.  health wise it was good for myself and family so i cannot complain in that aspect, but for me mentally it was pretty rough.  i am hoping this next year is much better.  people who are very healthy mentally do not realize how mental health affects overall wellbeing and life of someone who struggles.  because i had a lot going on with my emotions and thoughts, it affected every.single.freaking.day.of.spring.summer.fall.and.winter.  whew.

i definitely had awesome days, but there were also lots of other awful days thrown in there that probably affected my family as well.  life isn't easy and i know we all have our issues, but i am one that handles my negativity differently that lot unfortunately.  thank god for medication, but i also need to learn some coping mechanisms and new skills in a few areas.

although i mentioned how dreary the year was, i thought of five great things that did happen.  sure there are many more, but these happened to just pop into my head first!


1 - getaway to jamaica and florida.
2 - parents moving to a new house.
3 - getting a new car.
4 - finding new creative outlets.
5 - chopping off my hair & getting a new tattoo.

enjoy today and be safe if you go out tonite.  remember not to drink and drive (: 

how was your day?

1 - smile at strangers.

2 - slow down.

3 - say thank you.

4 - give lots of compliments.

5 - dress nicely.

6 - wear perfume. 

7 - observe & listen.

8 - be charming.

9 - laugh.

10 - wish people a lovely day.

out of this list i pretty much do everything except for slow down.  i am so impatient and my life is always go, go, go.  as the saying goes, i rarely stop to smell the roses.  i'm always on a mission, moving on to the next thing.  with my racing thoughts, constant distractions, and impulsiveness, it can make life rather tough.  i definitely think that if i slowed things down a little and quit worrying so much, i would be happier, even if it was just a little (:

don't forget to enter my GIVEAWAY!

rules to life.

ok, so i'm back after many weeks of not posting!  hopefully my body and computer will cooperate now so that i can get back to regular posting.  i have really missed it.

oh, and by the way, i am going to be getting a new blog design this week!  i am so stoked about it, so if you see a different look, you're not at the wrong address!

__________________________________________________________________________________________

rules to life - i saw this cute thing on facebook this morning and decided that it's something i wanted to post.  these are definitely 7 things that i need to follow a lot more often.  i think by doing this, my life would feel a lot less stressful and i would appreciate it more.  we will see . . . 

taken on my way home from florida

1.  make PEACE with your past so it doesn't spoil your future.  your past does not define your future - your actions and beliefs do.

2.  what others THINK of you is none of your business.  it's how much you value yourself and how important you think you are.

3.  time HEALS almost everything.  give time, time. 

4.  the only person in charge of your HAPPINESS is you!

5.  don't COMPARE your life with others' and don't judge them.  you have no idea what their journey is all about. 

6.  stop THINKING too much.  it's alright to not know the answers; they will come to you when you least expect it.

7.  SMILE.  you don't own all the problems in the world. 

would you buy me?

i am like most people and don't really like talking about myself, let alone saying positive things.  i feel that when i talk myself up, i'm being conceited and it makes me super uncomfortable.  today's challenge is to sell yourself in 10 words or less.  hmm...

here we go.

• intelligent
• introvert
• creative
• caring
• productive
• insightful
• alluring
• polite
• particular
• individualized 

10 situations in life that make me uncomfortable!

1.  driving in construction - narrow lanes, fast cars, semis, crap in the road.  exactly why i have white knuckles at that time.

2.  germs - big time germophobe.  i wash my hands and use sanitizer incessantly.  it's a sickness, really, but i can't help it.  there are too many big time bugs out there that make people sick and i want no part of it!

3.  my period - enough said.

4.  inserting catheters - being all up in someone's nether region really isn't my cup of tea, but it's part of the job.  it can definitely be embarrassing for both parties so i normally do it as fast as possible, smile, and exit.

5.  public speaking - i can remember my speech class when i was 18.  it was sheer torture and i'm surprised i never had a heart attack.  it has gotten a little easier as i've gotten older, but i still absolutely hate it and thank god it rarely happens.

6.  speaking the truth in some situations - you know, like telling someone they have something in their teeth or nose, that outfit doesn't look good, or yes, i knew your husband was cheating.  it can be hard to say sometimes, but be the better person and just get it out!

7.  hangovers -  i am queen of them.  it doesn't matter how little i drink, my body punishes me severely the following day. 

8.  heights -they definitely make me a bit nervous, although i love to fly.

9. seeing people cry - this is hard for everyone i think.  instances like this make me want to cry as well.

10.  sleeping while hot - i can't stand for the room or covers to be warm.  i can never be fully under the covers, as i always have to have a leg out, along with an arm.

what makes you feel uncomfortable?!

- this or that - beauty tag.

the cute and lovely izzie tagged me in this fun beauty questionnaire. i love filling out these types of things and it was a lot of fun to do while i waited out the tornadoes this evening.

enjoy (:

Makeup:

• Blush or Bronzer? both, but i prefer bronzer. i must have 4 different ones right now.
• Lipgloss or Lipstick? it seems i wear lipgloss or even chapstick a lot more these days.
• Liner or Mascara? both. mascara is my #1 beauty product i couldn't live without, but i wear liner daily. without mascara, i look dead.
• Foundation or Concealer? foundation.  i use concealer quite a bit for my dark circles, but foundation is something i use more.
• Neutral Eyeshadow or Colour? all colors.  yesterday i wore bright pink & today i have on smokey browns. it varies every day.
• Pressed or loose eyeshadow? definitely pressed. there is way too much fall out with loose. eww.

Nails and body: 

• OPI or China Glaze?  china glaze. i like both, but china glaze is where it's at.
• Long or Short Nails? i'm a short girl. i have never been a fan of long nails.
• Acrylic or Natural? natural. i had acrylic when i was like 13 and i'll never get them again.
• Brights or Darks?  it totally depends on my mood. if i were to paint them today, it would probably be a light color.
• Flower or No Flower? plain.
• Perfume or Body Splash? the patchouli i wear is actually an oil, but i wear perfume sometimes as well.
• Lotion or Body Butter?  body butter. my skin is too dry to use a watery lotion.
• Body Wash or Soap?  i prefer soap. body wash can make my skin feel sticky and dry.
• Lush or other bath company?  the body shop is my all time favorite.

Fashion:

• Jeans or Sweat Pants?  i don't even own a pair of sweats.
• Long Sleeve or Short Sleeve?  i prefer tanks. i would wear them year round if i could.
• Dresses or skirts? neither really. i have two upcoming events where i have to wear a dress and i know i'll feel uncomfortable in it.
• Stripes or Plaid?  stripes.
• Flip Flops or Sandals?  both. it depends on where i'm going.
• Scarves or Hats?  i don't really wear either. i know, i know.
• Studs or Dangly Earrings? dangly, although most of mine right now are small hoops.
• Heels or Flats? i like some heels, especially wedges, but flats suit me better because i can't walk to well in heels, plus i don't like being super tall.
• Cowboy Boots or Riding Boots? i have had my cowboy boots for like 10 years and they're my favorite shoes.
• Jacket or Hoodie?  i have tons of fleece and cotton jackets that i have with me everywhere i go. never know when you're going to get cold.
• Forever 21 or Charlotte Russe? i used to love charlotte russe, but it seems they've changed their line to ugly now and forever is so damn congested i don't have the patience to look through everything, although the clothes are super cute and cheap.
• Abercrombie or Hollister? a little too preppy for my liking.

Hair:

• Curly or Straight?  it's straight 95% of the time.
• Bun or Ponytail?  both, if i can get the bun to stay in.
• Bobby Pins or Butterfly Clips? pins.
• Hair Spray or Gel?  definitely spray. i never used to use it, but the last couple years i've been using it more often.
• Long or Short?  well right now i have an insatiable urge to chop it all off!
• Light or Dark?  the lighter, the better.
• Side Sweep or Full Bangs? i can't do bangs. good ol' cowlick.
• Up or Down?  i wear it up and down equally.

Random:

• Rain or Shine?  rain is good sometimes, but it makes me depressed usually.
• Summer or Winter?  i am a summer girl.
• Fall or Spring?  i am not a fan of fall at all. you know cold and cloudy is on the way for the next 6 months.
• Chocolate or Vanilla?  vanilla ice cream, but chocolate anything else.
• East coast or west coast?  west coast. california is heavenly gorgeous!  

 

let me know in the comments below if you guys post one of these. i would love to see your answers.

my week's favorite things.

thank god it's friday, although i've been off since wednesday and don't have to go back to work until monday so i've had a mini-vacation, but still.  fridays are always a good thing!  here are some of my favorite highlights from this past week. enjoy!

1.  today is the mr.'s birthday.  good ol' ripe age of 42, but sure doesn't look it, does he?  i can't believe this is the seventh birthday i've spent with him.  holy hell, where has time gone?!

2.  so, to celebrate his birthday, we are going to the blues game tonite.  hockey is one of our favorite things and what better what to celebrate his birthday.  can't wait!

3.  i've been sooooo addicted to these arbonne smoothies.  i mix the powder with water and then add a variety of fruit and spinach.  so far my favorite is the mixed berries with a frozen banana.  heaven. plus they keep me full for hours!

4.  making jewelry has been keeping me super busy.  here is one of my latest creations that i made for my grandma's birthday.

5.  we took dutch to a doggy easter egg hunt.  it was so much fun and he was such a hit there.  he collected the most eggs, which were filled with treats and gift certificates.  we won a BOGO day at doggy day care.  it's the cutest place!

HOPE YOU HAVE A HAPPY WEEKEND!

such a happy time.

WHAT I LOVE ABOUT SPRING

1.  sandals
2.  an extra hour of sunlight
3.  the smell of bbq grills
4.  blooms & buds
5.  thunderstorms
6.  open windows
7.  spring cleaning
8.  flower pots
9.  tank tops
10.  chirping birds
11.  sun on the skin
12.  improved moods
13.  sunnies
14.  spring sales
15.  green grass

besides the obvious like warmer weather & getting out of winter - what are some of your favorite things about spring?? i know there are more than what i have listed!

be grateful!

photo

I am on this Saturday because:

- the sun is shining
- i just found out my cousin is having a baby
- i'm spending time with family tonite
- for my anxiety meds
- true blood is ready to be picked up at the library
- my car is getting new brakes today
- i'm coloring my hair tomorrow
- my husband loves me very much

:: five things ::

i found this over at courtney's blog and wanted to do this because i love filling out Q&A things, plus i think it's fun to learn a little bit about each other.

so, here it goes.

five things ...

.... you'll find in my purse
* hand sanitizer
* a small bag filled with lipsticks, bobby pins, perfume samples, pepto, and a bunch of other junk
* medicine bottle
* a book of blank pages to jot down thoughts & notes
* gum

.... you'll find in my bedroom
* dog hair
* dreamcatchers
* books
* lotion
* humidifier

.... i've always wanted to do
* travel europe
* mardi gras in new orleans
* speak fluent spanish
* study abroad
* make a stained glass window for home

.... i'm currently loving
* my hair color
* living where i do
* planning our anniversary trip
* purple eyes
* i got garbage tickets

.... quirks i have
* being nosey
* a strong 6th sense
* always have to have music on
* i get along way better with guys than girls
* sleeping with a heated rice filled cow every nite

link up if you decide to do the Q&A so i can read yours as well.  i think you should!

nice to meet you, new year.

I really don't like the fact that it takes a brand new year to make people change their ways, and although I make goals each year that are usually forgotten or lost by March, here I am again setting new ones for myself.  Goals are good; resolutions are not. 

The year has basically started off like any other year or old day it seems, so it will be harder to make myself do these things because I don't feel any different than I did on say, Dec. 31 or July 8, for example. 

There isn't much to my list, but there is so much I need and want to do that I have to do it in small bits.  Here's to hoping I can stick to my guns and get these babies accomplished. 

1.  Here's the most cliche one of all, but seriously, workout or exercise at least 4 days a week.  Working 3 twelve-hour shifts a week makes it nearly impossible to get any form of exercise in on those days, so it's on my days off that I have to work out.  We have actually made a workout sheet that lists certain exercises to do on certain days, so I think if we have a schedule, it will make me more apt to comply.  Timeframe: by the end of March.

2.  Work at least 2 extra shifts a month.  We want to go on a nice trip for our 5 year anniversary this year, a getaway to Vegas in June after my sister graduates, our annual trip to Florida in the fall, and there are smaller, but costly, trips mixed in there as well.  Working those extra shifts can bring in an extra few hundred bucks in each month so I really need to, if my body will allow me.  Timeframe: by the end of April.

3.  Pay off at least one school loan and my car.  We have about $100,000 in school loans that are killing us.  It literally makes me panic to think of this.  Having that education is a must, but the cost is ridiculous at the same time.  I don't know where I think we are going to get this extra money, but we have to pay a chunk of it down.  My car is maybe 2 years from being paid off, but I need to get it done because we are in desperate need of another now.  Timeframe: End of year. This will definitely take more than a few months. 

4.  Get control of my anxieties and scatterbrained ways.  I've had anxiety since I was little, but it's been bad {on and off} since I was about 20, so for a little over 10 years now.  It impacts all aspects of my life: at home, work, vacations, when I should be relaxing, etc...We all worry, but if you've never truly experienced anxiety for prolonged time, you don't understand what it feels like and probably think I'm nuts.  I rely far too much on my medication and just want to live a worry-free life. Timeframe: Summer. 

So there it is.  A small list.  Although I have a lot more that I want to do, these are the most important to me right now.  What are yours?  Are they similar to mine or completely different? 

dream more, complain less.

{source}

I figure I only have about 10 hours left in the day before it's time to hit the sack and get ready for a new work day tomorrow where another busy week begins.  Here's to hoping that I can accomplish every single one of these starting, now.  The list seems easy, but doing so is actually the hard part.

Ready, set, go.

from another point of view.

Life seems easy, if you consider things from another point of view.

So my life really isn't all that bad.  I don't claim it to be, but there are days I just want to throw the towel in. 

I suffer from chronic pain, crippling anxiety, we're drowning in debt, hubs recently lost his job so we're living on one income, however we have our health, we're moving on up in life. Those pesky things are nothing compared to what some people go through.

In the last couple of days I have encountered people who have lost loved ones to horrific, freak accidents, awful diagnoses, and lots of other issues that are worse than mine.

But, sometimes I have to remind myself that others have it far worse than I do I've got it pretty good.  

As I was sitting here, I came up with a small list of things I am grateful for.  Of course there are others, but these popped into my head now. 

• Lots of education.  I have so much debt from student loans that it seriously gives me panic attacks, but no one can ever take my knowledge and education away from me.
• A patient, loyal, and loving husband.  I honestly don't know how he puts up with me, but he is what keeps me going, seriously.  Who knows where I'd be if it weren't for him. 
• Family that loves each other like no other.  We all feel that way about our families, but from the people I know, most aren't as close as I am with mine.  There's a connection that cannot be described.
• A pretty face to put makeup on.  Not to be vain, but I am happy with the face I was given.
• Traveling around.  I have been fortunate to have had the opportunity to see lots of great places in my life.  My parents knew it was important and traveling is one thing I live for. 
• Getting to experience all 4 seasons.  May not seem like a big deal to some, but not everyone gets to see the changing of the seasons.  It really is a beautiful thing.
• My personality.  I wouldn't say I have a sound mind, but I'm unique, just as you.  Although I have my issues, overall I mostly like how I am.
• My dogs.  They are my babies and make my life happier and complete. 

 pictures via

me: A to Z.

I saw this over at Lauren's blog and thought it would be fun to do.  I love to do little things like this, so as I'm delaying bedtime more and more, because I have to work tomorrow on Thanksgiving, this will help to pass the time. 

A. age:31

B. bed size:king

C. chore you hate: dishes. it puts me in such a bad mood.

D. dogs: dutch & harris. extreme opposites in size and personality, yet they get along so well.

E. essential start to your day: cereal. i crave it, daily.

F. favorite color: turquoise & purple.

G. gold or silver: i'm liking gold more and more these days.

H. height: 5'7"

I. instruments you play: nothing anymore, sadly. i taught myself to play piano, but haven't touched one in years, and also did clarinet in jr. high.

J. job title: nurse.

K. kids: just my dogs.

L. live: illinois.

M. married: 4 years ago in jamaica!

N. nicknames: none really.

O. overnight hospital stays: knock on wood, none yet. close, but no cigar.

P. pet peeve: people who drive slower than me, interrupters, poor grammar, know-it-alls.

Q. quote: "who are you to judge the life i live? I know im not perfect and i dont live to be, but before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean." - Bob Marley.

R. righty or lefty: righty.

S. siblings: 2 younger sisters.

T. time you wake up: workdays, 5a. others, around 8a.

U. university attended: southern illinois university, kaskaskia, & greenville college.

V. vegetables you dislike: peas, cucumbers, & black olives.

W. what makes you run late: myself. as my family tells me, i 'fiddlefuck.'

X. x-rays you’ve had: mouth and neck.

Y. yummy food: chocolate, toasted ravioli, candy, pb&j toast.

Z. zoo animal favorite: i'm a sucker for all animals. 

 

* join in the fun and if you do, let me know so i can read about you! 

life lately: in pictures.

 

 

 

1) an updated version of this puff paint + canvas.  I wasn't too fond of the original, so I added some color.

2) dutch enjoying running in the field on the 80 degree day.

3) fall eyes. a deep, smoky brown look.

4) harris hates to have his picture taken. he looks so startled, haha.

5) celebrating dad's birthday at copper dock winery. it's so beautiful. 

6) out by the lake. i sure will miss being outside come winter!

7) the view of the lake and fountain out front of our condo. it's breathtaking. 

8) we're going to see ellie goulding! i love her. 

9) my love and me at the winery.

life this week.

one. i can't believe they already have christmas decorations out, but they do.  so not ready.
two. i got another piercing this week!  i think this is probably the last in my ears because that makes 9 and i'm running out of space while it still looks classy.
three. pool time. 

four.  my everyday, simple, eye look. tutorial coming soon, i hope.
five. olga's blueberry bread pudding. heavenly.
six. dutch is such a sleepy boy.
seven. outside our condo. the grass is finally a bit greener and i love to watch the fountain in the lake. such a pretty setting.

a birthday post. my 31 in 31.

Well, today is my birthday.   A whole other year has come and gone so very quickly.

It seems like just last week I was trying to get used to being 30 and here I am a year older.  It's ok; my life keeps getting better and better, but I just wish it wasn't going so fast.

In this next year, I plan to try and knock out the following 31 things.

My 31 in 31.

1. Go to Hawaii for our 5th wedding anniversary.
2. Understand my camera even better.
3. Become a better blogger and grow.
4. Find a church I love and get involved. 
5. Run a mile without stopping.  I still have not mastered this goal from the beginning of the year.
6. Get in better shape and tone up.
7. Manage my anxiety better.
8. Have a baby.
9. Save money.
10. Pay back a chunk of our $100,000 student loans.
11. Start a vacation fund.
12. Be a better nurse.
13. Begin relearning Spanish.
14. Go to at least 5 concerts.
15. Keep a journal. 
16. Complete a photo a day challenge for a whole month. 
17. Use Twitter more and more.
18.  Meet one of my bloggy friends in real life!
19. Travel as much as possible.
20. Pay off one big piece of debt.
21. Increase my optimism and not dwell on the negatives of life.
22. Take better pictures.
23. Read the Bible.
24. Learn to crochet.
25. Join a gym and get back into swimming.
26. Do more makeup/hair tutorials.
27. Repot all my plants.
28. Complete my list of DIY projects.
29. Pay it forward in a drive-thru.
30. Become more patient.
31. Slow down and enjoy this beautiful life!

weekend daydreams...

Happy weekend. 

This is the first Sunday morning in a long time [like 2 months] that I've actually been able to get up, drink my tea, put my dance music on, and relax for a second [or two] before the day begins.  We have been running around like crazy for the last couple months and I think things are getting back to good again. 

This morning I'm sitting here thinking of some things I'm wishing for.  I feel a bit like Veruca from Charlie & the Chocolate Factory, being that selfish little brat, wanting things now!  I really loathe waiting and I have no patience.... It's just that I like things and I want them now, although my bank account tells me otherwise, and my hubs would kill me. 

But, here are a few things I'm wanting to snatch up real soon!

.one.

Check out this amazing camera bag.  It's perfect!  I am in desperate need for a cute/purse like camera bag.  My camera is too precious and expensive to keep being carried in its current bag and so I ran across this one.  I can't wait to order it.  Check out Darby Mack and look through the rest of her bags.  I guarantee you will be impressed!!  So glad I ran across her.

.two.

This happens to be a dress that I've been longing for.  It is just what I've been looking for: picture-perfect, simple yet sexy, cute.  I don't think it's going to work out, however, because I want it for my cousin's wedding.  Isn't there a rule that says you're not supposed to wear white/cream to a wedding, unless you're the bride, or something like that?? I'm all about rule breaking, but I also don't want to look like a tool.

.three.

I am all for having that dewy/luminescent look, especially for summer.  I have lots of different highlighters, but this one sold me at 'supermodel in a bottle.'  I want to glow this summer!

.four.

I have been eyeing these cuties for months.  Still haven't gotten a pair, but they are always on my wish list.  I love slip-ons and these should suit me quite well, I think.  In black.

.five.
Sadly, this isn't really something that I can go out an buy tomorrow, but I am missing my pool!  I just found out our condos aren't included in the neighborhood pool and I am pissed!  It's so hot here and I am missing the pool at my parents.  A bit of advice, if you currently have a pool, don't take it for granted (:

I also wouldn't mind a bit of a thunderstorm, too.  We desperately need rain, but a nice mix of clouds, thunder, and lightning would suit me just fine.

What have you been wishing for this weekend??